The Hardest Goodbye is the one that is Necessary

by - February 22, 2019

How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye? More importantly, how do you know when it’s time to say goodbye to someone dear to your heart? How does one even do that - say goodbye to someone you care about so, so much? It has to be impossible, it just can’t be done. Right?
That’s what I thought too until the day finally came. I finally reached a point where I was tired of being lied to, used, and manipulated by someone I was very close to. I constantly made excuses for her, lied for her, ran to her side whenever she snapped her fingers, it took me so long to realize that I was enabling her. Me doing these things for her were only telling her that she didn’t have to change - that her actions were okay - because she will always be forgiven and always have someone to fall back on (me). I was in no way helping her grow as a person, and when I finally realized my own mistakes, she wanted nothing to do with my help and didn’t want to hear what I had to say. To be treated like dirt whenever I didn’t drop what I was doing to run to her as soon as she snapped her fingers, to have her throw a temper tantrum whenever I didn’t give her what she wanted… She uses everyone that she can, and makes empty promises and false apologies… It‘s all just too much and I couldn't handle being treated like that any longer, no matter how close we were or how much I cared for her, ten plus years is far too long. The hardest goodbye will always be the goodbye you have to say to someone you never thought you’d have to live without. But you know what? Those goodbyes are the ones that are necessary. Necessary for growth and change; sometimes people need to grow apart to become who they are meant to be, and sometimes people need to accept the fact that they need to go their separate ways in order to be rid of the toxicity in their lives (even if your favourite cousin, sister, aunt, or best friend is the source of that toxicity). You need to know when it is time to say goodbye.
Furthermore - for the betterment of your conscience - you must understand why it had to happen. The sooner you accept that this is the end of your story together, and learn to let go, the less difficult and uncomfortable the healing process will be for you. Pain is inevitable, of course, you will feel a lot of it during the goodbye, but it's alright. It hurts this much because you have loved this person, and it will hurt for a while, but not forever; soon, you will realize how much your life would have improved, how peaceful your mind will be - I have. So trust me when I say, saying goodbye will be the best thing for you, and no! It is not selfish, please don't let others tell you otherwise.
No one can make you happy except for YOU. Focus on yourself now, there’s nothing wrong with choosing yourself, especially after you have been putting others first for so long. You may hear people say this all the time, but that's because it's true. Until you are one hundred percent happy with you, you will never be happy with anyone else.
This is such an important lesson to understand. You will never be happy with someone else unless you find happiness with who you are and the life you lead FIRST.


Too many people are in relationships depending on each other for happiness. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship that is - romantic, friendship, family... They end up miserable because they constantly depend on another person to make them happy, instead of finding happiness within themselves first.
Learn how to be happy by yourself, take yourself out on dates, celebrate by yourself once in a while, go for walks on your own; I promise you, you will see such an amazing difference.

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4 comments

  1. It's true that goodbyes are never easy especially when you've invested so much in the friendship. But if the friend is striking a blow to you confidence and self esteem regularly, it's best to cut your ties as hard as it may be.

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  2. So true, we often think other people are responsible to make us happy in our life but we need to find happiness and joy within ourselves. It's not easy to end a relationship that is a big part of one's daily life but there is a time when it must be done for our own good. You are actually helping the other person as well, in the end.

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  3. When the time comes it comes and you cannot avoid it, I was always putting people before me I got disapointed a number of time and looked a way but when the time came for me to say good by to my weaker side of accepting everyone I had to take the road. I know how ti feels like.

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  4. I agree that it is very hard to say goodbye to someone that has been such a part of your life, but you have to think about yourself and protect yourself from the toxic people in your life. I have recently been through a similar situation.

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