How I Stopped Relying on Others For My Happiness

by - October 04, 2018



“I am enough."

I try to repeat this to myself daily because it is good to have a reminder that yes, I am enough; yes, I am worthy; and yes, I am wonderful and doing everything I can to survive in this world. You should never depend on someone else to make you happy, in my opinion, that is the riskiest thing you can do that can damage your self-worth and self-confidence.

Although it is great to have someone else say these things to you every once and again, it can also be quite dangerous: because then you start depending on that person or those people to say those things for you, rather than yourself. 

You'll never be truly happy if you always rely on another person.

Once you start to love yourself and believe in yourself, you will see that your confidence will grow and you will feel strong, solid, and balanced in your self-worth. You’ll know that, even if you make mistakes or if you fail, it will be okay and you can work through it because you can do whatever you set your mind to. 

It is no secret that most of us, if not all, are guilty of relying on another person to make us happy and make us feel worthy. For me, it was my significant other (during the first year or two of our relationship). I snapped out of it once I started realizing that the only times I felt joy and felt complete, was when Charles was by my side; it was a mistake that I made with my ex-partner, and not one I wanted to repeat.

Soon after my realization, I started taking myself on dates and forcing myself to do these on my own. I'm not going to lie, it took me a long while to learn how to be happy by myself and feel secure in my own mind and body. Fortunately, my other half was more than supportive and understanding while I went through this "find myself" phase. If anything, I feel as though we became closer - I now know that I can be happy by myself, but I am choosing not to be.

Don't stress yourself out about this too much and try not to rush yourself. You're allowed to work on yourself at your own pace - that's kind of the point <3

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15 comments

  1. happiness is so important in life. i know its sometime so tough to find. love your post so wonderful.

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  2. I really needed to read this today...and for that matter a few years ago too! I struggle all the time with self confidence, and I think that's because I rely on too many people to make me feel happy. Pinning this so I can read it again and again.

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    1. Thank you so much, your words mean a lot to me. We all have relied a little too much on other people to make us happy at least once in our lives. What matters is that we take back our control and our happiness Xo

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  3. This is so lovely, I am so happy for you taking the steps to be confident and happy on your own. I can very much relate and its been a long journey for me to to find this but Ive found it and I don't know why I never did it sooner. They way we talk to ourselves is so important it makes the world of difference in our lives really loved your post on this xx

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  4. Thanks for your gentle reminder. I'm still working on it as it hasn't been easy.

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    1. It's not something a lot of us can get a hang of so easily, but it is so worth it, just don't pressure yourself <3

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  5. The most difficult lesson, ever! Happy for you, girl!

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  6. This is so important. So often in life, especially women, focus on pleasing everyone else and taking care of them instead of ourselves.

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  7. My favorite line in this post is - now know that I can be happy by myself, but I am choosing not to be. So often we get lost in the choices we make because we do it to please others. Glad you worked through this.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment, your words mean a lot to me <3

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  8. I always struggle with finding happiness. I put myself ahead of others so often that I didn't realize until now that it was hurting me. I'm glad that I was able to read this.

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